If you search the Internet for parenting advice there will be an abundance of information that makes it hard to figure it out what actually works and which strategies are really effective.
There is no single definition or a “right” method of good parenting. However, every parent wants the best for their child, and is looking for ways to provide direction and respond to behavioral problems in a way that nurtures positive relationships and fosters a positive attitude and development.
Check out these simple, but effective tips that will help you ensure the happiness of your child:
1. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR CHILD’S GOOD BEHAVIOR AND DON’T FOCUS ON CHILD’S WEAKNESSES
It’s been proven true that the behavior that gets attention is the behavior that you’ll get more of. You’ve probably been in a situation where you’ve noticed that. Just think about the many times a child keeps doing something just to make you angry, sometimes even laughing since the child really thinks about your attention and not about if what they did was right or wrong.
Show your kid more attention when they do something good instead of focusing on undesired behavior or punishment. This method will teach the child that good behavior is a good way to get attention. Of course you also need to teach your child what is right and wrong, but try to shift the focus on the things your child does well.
Sheila Eyberg, PhD, a psychology professor who conducts research on parent-child relationships advices: “Parents should not offer praise indiscriminately. Instead, they should give specific feedback on exactly what the child did that the parent liked.”
2. CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD, LISTEN, AND ESTABLISH A SUPPORTIVE AND LOVING ATMOSPHERE
YOU are the one your child will look up to! Make sure you don’t set up an example of fear. Instead, create an environment where your child feels safe to speak with you about anything. For example when a child says: “I don’t want to do my homework” don’t respond with: “You must do it otherwise you will be punished.” Find out what is really going on, and what is the true reason why your child doesn’t want to do their homework. Make a time just for you two, sit down and talk. Let your child know that you are here for them and allow them to speak openly with you about any concern that comes their way.
3. STOP with the comparisons
Don’t compare your child with other kids! Every child is different and unique in a certain way. Comparisons can damage a child’s self-esteem and will affect the development of their own interests and abilities.
And especially – don’t compare siblings! If a child thinks his or her brother or sister is favored, additional behavioral problems may arise. Show your kids that you love them equally.
You child should not feel that they have to be more like a sibling or another child.
4. SELF CONTROL FIRST
Handling any issue with your child will be easier if you learn to control YOUR emotions first. Don’t try to solve an issue by demonstrating frustration and anger. Stop being “The Screamer” parent and start parenting effectively. When your child does something that pushes your limits count to ten before responding in a manner that will solve the problem – but only temporarily. Later, when your emotions have cooled, construct a response that really deals with the misbehavior and communicate effectively.
5. DON’T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Parental burnout is a very real phenomenon, affecting between 2 to 12 per cent of mums and dads, according to a new study. It impacts the parent-child relationship as well as the partner, who has to compensate for his/her co-parent’s withdrawal from family life. Among the factors that cause parental burnout are the stress of work/life balance and the limited time for self-care.
Making the time to exercise, maintain hobbies and connect with your friends and partners seems challenging with the demands of parenting, work and life, but it is crucial if you would like to raise happy children in a nurturing environment.
I hope you found these parenting tips useful! My research and writing on parenting is meant to bring some of the pages of the missing “instruction manual” to parents who are looking for answers to their questions on how to deal with their children. Click here if you would like to schedule a parenting seminar, workshop or event.